Friends...

Mood= Creative
Song= Skye Sweetnam - Tangled Up In Me

After these past few days, weeks, months and years.. I still love you guys to death. You guys make me smile like never before.. Thanks for everything. =))

p.s = for those of you whose picture are not up.. sorry.. But I will put more up soon! doesn't mean I don't love the rest of you guys ok!


Julian

Julian.. you're so bloody sweet, i smile to myself like an utter idiot when i recieve your messages cause I know that they will all make me smile. =D Thanks babe. Miss you...


Andre aka. Mr Tony Hawk >.< He's just awesome for some reasons.. hahahahaha! that's all i'm gonna say.. =pp


Me and Fie

Fieeee sayang! aaaahhh.. I wonder what I'll do without you... your house... your bed.. your paul frank.. your clothes... your make up... your bathroom.. your maxi (hahhaha!)... your support and everything else! I'm so happy about the way we are now.. Other then Julian, Benji and Geo.. You're the only girl I talk to most on the phone! about about what what?! hahaha! I love you for everything you did.. you're awesome! I'm so so glad I have such a friend like you.. I love you and you know it. haha.. you better love me too! muuuuuaaaahh!


Ge

Geeeee.. What am I without you eh? sigh. So much ups and downs but again and again, you forgive me and still love me (i think). I cannot say/express how lucky I am to have such a ge like you... able to take all my nonsense. Im giving you best Ge award! hehe.. I'll always love you and I'll never hurt you again.. I love you. =D And miss you!


Benji

Beeeeeennnn... you you you. Always call me ms berns. Last time was bernie and now ms berns. You soooo full of nonsense! hehe.. that's why I love you too! Have always been there for me no matter what and what time throughout the day (mostly after 2? or 1?). Although I've hurt you once and am very sorry for that, I'll never hurt you again. You still owe me a movie!!! And if the next time you're late again.. you're gonna owe me more movies but with dinner this time! hheeh.. Ok babe.. I lovvve youuu! and I miss you too..! meet up soon! heeee.. >.<


Benita

Jie... My one and only jie. Aku Cinta Kamu...! Wo Ai Ni! J'taime! and the jap one I don't know how to spell.. hahah! eh.. english one forget.. I LOVE YOU! thanks for everything.. Support... Love.. *ahem*.. haha! you should know what the *ahem* is. =pp You have always been there for me no matter what AND REMEMBER! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GO PIERCE MY SECOND HOLE WITH ME! i'm still waiting!! and.. I wanna go fishing.. haa.. you needa go fishing.. Anyways.. You're awesome and I love you and I'm straight cause right now i sound like your girlfriend instead of your mei. hehe.. Thanks for everything! MUAH!

;;;

Song= Usher - Throwback

I think I deserve as much...

*You're gonna want me back*

I will no longer be there.

Mood= Moody
Song= The Ataris - The Boys of Summer

This morning on the way to school, I was listening to Class 95 and everyday the DJ's will come up of a topic to discuss about. So today, it was if a man can survive without a woman in their life. My mum said that woman can be independent but man cannot. More or less I agreed, I just comparing to what I knew. And weirdly enough, John Mayer's Your Body is A Wonderland came on.. instead of changing the chanel, I raised one eyebrow and smiled to myself. One minute I can hate that song so much and the next who knows.. I'm singing along to it.

I've seriously had enough of all this bull-shit.After what happened yesterday, instead of me and fie giving each other silent treatment we actually became closer. It was probably cause I was so sick of all this 3 way oh-i-don't-like-you-anymore-bitch kinda thing. It's been going on for a good one and a half years, it's about time it stopped. I don't want to have anything against her or him. We talked about everything, especially him. Nothing too good or bad, just saying whatever I'm so tired about. If having to wait for 2 weeks is long, what about 2 months then? Aahh.. I'm through with you. Two months is long enough, I don't see a point at drowning myself all the time, having to call up Ben or Ge just to scream at them and complain. I don't want to walk to school knowning I'll see you somehwere with her being so ass close even if you guys were going out there wouldn't be a difference. Dear, not everything will go your way. You refuse to admit defeat and you're stressing over something which you know will hurt me but it doesn't look like you care, so why should I anymore? There are a lot of things I know that happened or you lied when we were seeing each other. I asked you so many times and you lied again and again. Don't think I'm stupid, I know what happened. I'm just keeping my mouth shut and anyways, if I asked you would say that I don't trust you an we would have another big arguement. Honeslty, I didn't trust you as much, I did, but I know when you are lying. I probably fell for everything because everything you said was so convincing. Anyways, in general, it looks like you treat her better now then you treated me. And so I admit that I didn't treat you like royalty either. I admit that I lied quite a number of times but as time passed, I changed. Did you? Whatever.. it's the past. I just cannot keep all these things in me anymore, I have to say all these before I finally start to walk away. So yesh, take all this as what I never dared to say before but I have to now.

And just for the record, Benji and I are not dating.

And again, if you think that I'm here to diss about you or I'm using my trick or a guilt trip or whatever you're thinking. No. This is what I'm feeling right now and all along. Plus, when I (and most girls in general) tell you what/how I feel or what I think that is going to happen, what other people think, I'm not looking for a solution.. I'm just simply telling you how I feel. Just so that you know, work on it and create a better bond between us. Take this into account becuase I am not looking for a solution or for you to solve it. You did that all along, so this is why we are in this state. But i'm not putting full blame on you, I probably didn't understand somethings as well.

Anyways, I'm tired and it's about time I let go. So.. Good luck and hopefully we still can be friends.. It's your choice. And between you and fie, it is totally out of my control. Understand where fie is coming from. You have to start thinking both ways and a relationship is not one sided. I'll be around if you need anything or if one day something pops up between you and your girl, I'll be there if you need someone to talk to.

So take care, don't stress out too much and...
Goodbye.

The poison.

Song= Akon - Lonely

I skipped school today, for no particular reason.

On the way to my brothers camp, I was reading Prozac Nation and listening to 98.7. It was a hot day and I wasn't really bothered with anything except the book and the music I was listening to while crusing to Bens camp.

Daniel Bedinfield - Wrap my words around you, starts playing..
Ok.. again, Nice song but gay looking guy. *continues reading*

Right after the song ends, Jason Mraz - The Remedy comes on.
Again, I got distracted. I put the book down on my lap, turns the volume of the radio louder, and looks out of the car... looking at the sky and the trees. If you've got the poison i've got the remedy, that was the only part of the song where I really listened to the song. After the song finished, I lowered the volume and closed my eyes all the way to my brothers camp.

"Silly little promises"

I won't worry my life away...

Hello. Goodbye.

Song= Brian McKnight - Back at one

While reading Prozac Nation instead of doing homework and listening to 97.6 Top 20, I was reading rather contently and engrossed at the book, the countdown kept going on and on..

Number 2: Mario - Let me love you
Ok.. so I thought, nice song.. *continues reading*

Then Brian McKnight came on right after Mario and I stopped reading just about immediately. I put the book down and just stared blankly into space, thinking about absolutely nothing and I didn't know why I did that.

I wish I knew why.
But then again, I think I know why...
I just don't want to face it.