... My Silent Scream ...

Bern wants to know.

2005-08-22T10:42:00.000+08:00

Mood = Annoyed, yet again.Song = Bodyrockers - I Like The Way You Move singing in my head.So tell me, Bern wants to know...How exactly would you define the term "bestfriend"?

2005-08-15T22:44:00.000+08:00

Song= Jay Chou - Piao YiHappy Birthday John See Jun Mai! 19 years old already.. SO OLD! hahhaa... kidding.On a different note,I miss my Jie (benita).. Come back soon! I wanna see you..And,Grace Wong is finally coming! (so she says... haha.)

2005-08-12T14:22:00.000+08:00

"We weren't meant to be".

My amazing girlfriend.

2005-07-29T22:52:00.000+08:00

Song = Jack Johnson - Better TogetherJust yesterday, I was chatting with one of my best girl friends who left Singapore 2 years ago. She's in China now and when I saw her online (which is rare for that woman), I freaked (in a good way). And so the story goes...A: Womaaaaannnn!B: Hey bitch.A: Where in the world are you?!B: China! Oh yeah.. you know, I met this really cute/sexy guy.A: You always do

Stole this from Geo. =X

2005-07-12T00:44:00.000+08:00

Mood= ScaredSong= Kelly Clarkson - Behind These Hazel EyesFirst, write down the names of twenty people you know. Then, read and answer the questions. You can't look at the questions until you write down the twenty names you're going to use.At Random...1. Bibi2. Aura3. Geo4. Ben5. Denise6. Amanda7. Alex8.Marc9. Cris10. Biyi11. John12. Toshi13. Benita14. Junior15. Benji16. Stella17. Sara J18.

drools

2005-06-14T01:21:00.000+08:00

Song= Snoop Dogg Ft. Pharrell - Let's Get Blown It has been some time since I last updated.. almost a month and I'm only doing this because of Geo and Amanda because they have been telling me to update.. -_-" Feel good guys! I'm doing this for the both of you.. $%^*#$ hehe... =pIf you other people don't know yet, my lastest love is John Gotti Agnello. For those who already do know.. hehe.. For

Bandit.

2005-05-16T03:00:00.000+08:00

Mood= UpsetSong= Ciara Ft. R Kelly - Next To YouBandit Boy. =)I nearly lost my best friend/ baby boy a few hours ago. Bandit overdosed on his medicine while we were out for dinner. He gave me the worst shock of my life. I cried my eyes out as I was so scared the overdose would take effect and he was gonna leave me forever. My parents rushed him to the doctor, I went too of course, and luckly

My Trip to KL

2005-05-09T23:10:00.000+08:00

Song= Oh My Gosh - Basement JaxxI went up to KL last weekend for some Raja's daughter's wedding dinner... It was awesome! Ben, Junior and my other awesome Uncles and Auntie was there. They're the fun bunch.Travellers: Me, Ben, Mum, Dad, Uncle Mike, Junior, Uncle Willy, Uncle Derrick and Auntie Germaine.Here are some pictures...!!BenMy brother.. He was taking pictures of himself so i had to do

Sian.

2005-05-04T22:29:00.000+08:00

Mood= DownSong= Good Charlotte - The TruthFuck.It still hurts. My ear still hurts too and it's bleeding. Freaking infection..And i can't wait to go up to KL this weekend, i wanna be away from all this.3 more days til i go to KL.6 more days til my birthday.20 more days til school is over.woot~ Anyways, I got rather bored today when I got home so I took very random pictures.. Improve my photography

2005-05-01T16:54:00.000+08:00

I just wanna sit and stare at you.

Birthday Wish(s)..

2005-04-22T23:04:00.000+08:00

Mood= BouncySong= 3 Doors Down - Let Me GoSo my sweet 16 is coming up.. in about 3 weeks. Being a nice* person, I've decided to put together a list of things you guys could get me so that you won't have the wreck your brains of what to get me! *grins* muahaha... Here goes, get your cash, credit cards, cheque book, debit cards and what-so-ever ready... it's gonna be a rough ride. =)Bernadette's (

My Son.

2005-04-05T22:08:00.000+08:00

Mood= TiredSong= Jennifer Lopez Ft. Fat Joe - Hold You Down-_-;; Made me run all the way to my room just to pick up your call. Ha.. But it's nice to finally talk to you again. =) You owe me a BIG BIG dinner on my birthday.. chief. =p Why? Cause you... so smartly decided to forget my birthday. Punishment.You know.. I have a son..Name - Jak JakAge - 4 monthsFather - John SeeHere is a picture of my

Friends...

2005-03-24T19:05:00.000+08:00

Mood= CreativeSong= Skye Sweetnam - Tangled Up In MeAfter these past few days, weeks, months and years.. I still love you guys to death. You guys make me smile like never before.. Thanks for everything. =))p.s = for those of you whose picture are not up.. sorry.. But I will put more up soon! doesn't mean I don't love the rest of you guys ok!JulianJulian.. you're so bloody sweet, i smile to myself

;;;

2005-03-16T21:54:00.000+08:00

Song= Usher - ThrowbackI think I deserve as much... *You're gonna want me back*

I will no longer be there.

2005-03-11T21:38:00.000+08:00

Mood= MoodySong= The Ataris - The Boys of SummerThis morning on the way to school, I was listening to Class 95 and everyday the DJ's will come up of a topic to discuss about. So today, it was if a man can survive without a woman in their life. My mum said that woman can be independent but man cannot. More or less I agreed, I just comparing to what I knew. And weirdly enough, John Mayer's Your

The poison.

2005-03-08T23:07:00.000+08:00

Song= Akon - LonelyI skipped school today, for no particular reason.On the way to my brothers camp, I was reading Prozac Nation and listening to 98.7. It was a hot day and I wasn't really bothered with anything except the book and the music I was listening to while crusing to Bens camp. Daniel Bedinfield - Wrap my words around you, starts playing..Ok.. again, Nice song but gay looking guy. *

Hello. Goodbye.

2005-03-07T21:53:00.000+08:00

Song= Brian McKnight - Back at oneWhile reading Prozac Nation instead of doing homework and listening to 97.6 Top 20, I was reading rather contently and engrossed at the book, the countdown kept going on and on.. Number 2: Mario - Let me love you Ok.. so I thought, nice song.. *continues reading*Then Brian McKnight came on right after Mario and I stopped reading just about immediately. I put the

=)

2005-02-28T21:42:00.000+08:00

Mood= Stressed!Song= This Day & Age - Second Place VictoryOther then what I'm thinking of saying about this afternoon in the hall...I hope that you get a lot better soon. =) Haven't seen you this moody in a long time. Cheer up. Everything will be fine soon.. Health + Life + Everything else.

i've been lying to myself.

2005-02-27T23:12:00.000+08:00

Mood= Confued...Song= Frankie J - Don't Wanna TryJust a few minutes ago, i was listening to BBMak's Back here.. my playlist is on shuffle so it came on ramdomly. Just at that same moment I was reading a few or too much things from the past. It's funny as I was drowning myself reading them. I don't know why I was reading them.. maybe cause I just thinking and I was so sick of doing my work so I

Mmm..

2005-02-26T16:10:00.000+08:00

Mood= ContentSong= Jason Mraz - You and I BothYesterday while I was sleeping, I had like 20 million phone calls. One from John, Eugene, Fu bro, Stella and Ben... and I forgot what they all and I said! hahaha! sorry la.. was sleeping what.. the only thing I remember was fu asking me if I was going out, stella asking me if I was going out, john telling me if anything call him, eugene telling me his

2005-02-21T16:46:00.000+08:00

Mood = AnnoyedSong = SP - DisarmI spend my saturdays now with my sisters.. Ochin (big sis), Aff (mid sis), Aura (sis) and i'm lil' sis. oh well.. i miss hanging out with the guys like John, EUGENE! (everytime i say his name must shout one..), Jeremy, Daniel and all of their nonesense. Most saturdays i'll buy lunch for them.. most of the time it's always "buy anything".. and me having to tell them

Valentines..

2005-02-14T22:40:00.000+08:00

Song= Usher - Caught upHappy Valentines to you all...This year, I'm sleeping on it. And plus a whole loada bad memories leading up to Valentines from the past few days... Fucking chee bye.

i'm still here.

2005-02-06T20:50:00.000+08:00

Mood= Depressed Song= Vertical Horizon - I'm still here i'm currently stuck with this song... it has alot of meaning to it anyways. "I'm Still Here" I found the pieces in my hand They were always there It just took some time for me to understand You gave me words I just can't say So if nothing else I'll just hold on while you drift away Cause everything you wanted me to hide Is

Tired.

2005-01-29T18:40:00.000+08:00

Song= John Mayer - Clarity (yes, I'm listening to John Mayer again.) I'm so so tired. I don't think that I can handle another problem in my life. Not now. I'm too bloody tired to do so. I don't need anymore problems in my life thank-you-very-much. And don't ask me if I'm fine.. Cause even if I am or not, I'll say that I am. I'm Just Too Bloody Tired.. I'm sorry John, Ge, Ben, Maroof and anyone

This is me, Now.

2005-01-27T20:17:00.000+08:00

Mood= Dead Song= Nelly Ft. Tim - Over and Over Sometimes people think that I'm happy... no matter what happens. If I broke up with my guy the night before or if I just lost my friend. I've lost plently of friends and broke up with my guy* tons of times. But I still keep a happy face. That's the outside and honestly, no one knows how I feel inside.. If I'm really as happy as I look and i can tell

Manhunt

2005-01-19T18:09:00.000+08:00

Mood= Sicky I just realised that every single woman out there watches Manhunt... and is currently drooling over their sexxy body. And honestly.. I'm not interested in it at all.. they are all too buff for me. I like my guys simple. =)) Like... the pacts of John, the built of cris, the height of yu shu... but I'm sticking to John. ^^ America's Next Top Model pleassseee.. =D

back.

2005-01-14T22:22:00.000+08:00

I want it all back. . . . i know i do. . . . i've never given up on you. and i never will.

2004-12-24T14:05:00.000+08:00

ITs xmas eve....already..so fast the time has come and go and hols is ending soon....homework oh homework...how am i going to finish it and so little days time....oh bother..!! Xmas List: a vondutch trucker cap a billabong wallet a billabong/roxy or mambo school bag cdssss pencil case a new jacket a new tote bag(the one i got from mini toons is so broken)): a trip to taiwan(i would love u loads.

Christmas List.

2004-12-21T16:04:00.000+08:00

Mood= Extremely Bored Song= Tamia - Dear John Bernadette's Christmas Wish List... To all the Santa's out there. Cd'sAlicia Keys - The diary of Alicia KeysElectrico - So much more insideSum 41 - Does this look infected?Ashlee Simpson - AutobiographyNelly - Nellyville, Sweat, SuiteLinkin Park & Jay-Z - EncoreJohn Mayer - Room for squares, Any given Thrusday (i think)Canon digital camaraShopping

Fly.

2004-12-14T22:18:00.000+08:00

Mood= Sicky Song= John Mayer - Your Body Is A Wonderland. (I wanna erase this song outta my life. ooh.. Ge you know...) I'm not very happy as I can't take all the things that comes rushing into my life right now. There's never a break... And i want a break from anything and everything. Can anyone save me? I'm dying right in your arms. Only that you don't realise.... Fucking hell... Open your

38

2004-12-13T22:12:00.000+08:00

ohk... that entry before this.. was not by me.. it was by stella so i have no idea wtf she's talking about.. ok.. shall blog later.. haven't done it in a damn long while.. ya'no what? i'll do it now since i'm already doing this. Song= Alicia Keys - Karma Just one word... Bitch.

star awards

2004-12-13T10:48:00.000+08:00

audrey....thx for the tics okay...and ya audrey brought me, sharon, chenning and of cos herself to the star awards. And we got to go to the reception after the show....so cool....all the big shot businessman were there and of cos the stars too lah..so if u were there u would see 4 crazy gals going across the room thousands of times to get autographs.... and i am so happy cos i got to see 5566...

2004-11-25T22:08:00.000+08:00

Mood= Grumpy Song= Nelly ft. Christina Aguilera - Tilt Ya Head Back. This is what I felt.. at 3 in the afternoon. -- Who is she to you? This is what I felt.. at 6 in the evening. -- One more time... but one more mistake and that's it.. That's when I'll be ending my chapter with you. You've become me.. and I've become you. This is how I will feel.. in the future. -- [Don't wanna try don't

Back to me.

2004-11-22T21:51:00.000+08:00

Mood = Happy (for some reason i don't know why) Song = J-Kown - Tipsy For a fact, I know that i'll want you back... But just not now. I did want you back, until, I became nothing.

2004-11-15T22:03:00.000+08:00

Mood = Pissed Song = Steady & co. - Only Holy Story i'm living in the shadow of someone else's dream.

Sorry.

2004-11-09T16:43:00.000+08:00

Mood = upset Song = All Star United - Torn First.. I moved to a livejournal account cause this was pissing me off but now I'm back here again. I'm yet to decide where to write all these though... mmm.. Anyways, it's not that I haven't been lazy by not writing much in here, just that my internet was down and I only just got it back recently and after i got it back.. yeah.. i was too lazy to

Hit me.

2004-10-25T13:58:00.000+08:00

ok.. so this is my final story. it wouldn't matter if I died today, you will still live your normal life. I'm just something so small I mean nothing to the world or you. I'm a fragment of nothing. I live becuase the only way out is death. death seems like my wonderland when i feel nothing, about you or me. you make me upset but at the same time you make me the happiest girl in the world. i see my

Things...

2004-10-20T18:28:00.000+08:00

Mood= Annoyed It's annoying not having internet at home. But I just moved house and I LOVE my NEW ROOM! so i won't be online or blogging for some days. AND NOW I CAN RECIEVE SG RECEPTION SO WHOEVER CAN CALL ME 24/7!~ Oh yes yes... =) happy bilated birthday Ben ben, benji, ben boy, benny... my one and only fully certified full of nonsense boy. =) I BOUGHT NICO AND FARIS FOR A BUCK EACH TODAY!..

2004-10-17T02:17:00.000+08:00

I Love You Too.

The past... and present.

2004-10-15T13:48:00.000+08:00

Mood= Lifeless Song= Usher & Alicia Keys - My Boo I remember.. not too long ago when i was always being told how much they missed the 'old bern'. I'm refering to when I was in grade 8 when nothing mattered and all i wanted to do was have a good ass time, i didn't give a shit about anything, and life was basically... perfect. I have to say that it was cause i had want i wanted, i had the most

N

2004-10-10T01:39:00.000+08:00

Yes I do know Nico. Yes I do. But it's weird isn't it? How you know it's impossible (hope that I'm not drowning your spirits right now). Though I would love to see what I'm imagining right now. It'll be real sweet. I know that you'll be perfect. =) For how much you may love, love as much as you want. You may very well win what you want. And, you woman.. you're not fat for the last time. -end

Dearest peps..

2004-10-10T01:01:00.000+08:00

Like they all said... which came true. Thanks for eveything. Darlings kept me up high. And now I wonder... Is it really what I want?... Hmm... In a way it'll be stupid to give up half way. Yes it would. No shit it would. Grace and Nico.. I know in a way I always disappoint you guys and you tell me things I don't wanna hear but it's for my own good. I know that and I love you guys. I really do

A Thousand Miles.

2004-10-08T13:10:00.000+08:00

Mood= cheery Song= Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles John's lullaby.. "A Thousand Miles" Making my way downtown Walking fast Faces pass And I'm home bound Staring blankly ahead Just making my way Making a way Through the crowd And I need you And I miss you And now I wonder.... If I could fallInto the sky Do you think time Would pass me by 'Cause you know I'd walk A thousand miles If I

2004-10-06T20:42:00.000+08:00

Crying to the memories I have... Knowing that you might never come back.

Never.

2004-10-05T21:15:00.000+08:00

Song= Chingy ft, J/Weav - One Call Away This is what you will have last from me - the sweetest kiss goodbye. Things will never be the same again, Since the time will never be right. I don't think I can ever love another, Like how I loved you. I'll never be able to see you, Like how I used to. Time and time again, The same things happen. So tell me, That it will never happen again. Like how I

_t_ v___ _o_.

2004-10-04T19:37:00.000+08:00

Song= Baby Bash ft Frakie J - Suga Suga Some things are better left unsaid.. Like how much _ __i__ ____ __u. Or why I waited for _o_ because _ _t___ _o__ ____. Maybe because _o_ said that ___ _o___ __ _o_. If could be that things _e__ going well. And I kept my ___e_ u_. So now _o_ crashed e______i__ _ h____ __r. In a way it's _e_____ __ _o_. But whatever it is.. _'__ ______ ____ ___. ____ _

Flirtatious.

2004-10-03T01:44:00.000+08:00

Song= John Mayer - Neon This got me thinking. Hard. X: wow.. I really wonder how you put up with your flirtatious guy. If I were you I wouldn't be able to. Y: I don't know. but he is huh... X: you're too kind with him. Y: I am... X: but you know you kinda have to huh... Y: well... It's either I do or I don't right?.. X: yeah. Y: Oh well... nothing I can do... X: But how do you take it though?..

G

2004-10-02T01:37:00.000+08:00

Song= Vertical Horizon - Best I Ever Had He who was once my brother, isn't one anymore. He who I once trusted, Ain't getting no trust from me no more. He who I once ran to, I will run through. I will not blame you. What that could have been done. Has been done.

-_-

2004-09-29T19:22:00.000+08:00

Song= All Star United - La la land I missed school today. Couldn't get my ass up til 12. Instead.. I spent the whole day packing... Dammit.. I should have gotten my ass up this morning... I miss school. I miss my babies, hunnies, sayangs.... But on the other hand... I'm starting to find English, French, Chinese, Indo, Canto, Hokkien, Malay, Spanish or any other fucking language very fucking

J

2004-09-28T22:05:00.000+08:00

For you. I realised that I still.. very much love you. Days of me saying that "That's it.. I'm gonna let him go", don't exist to me anymore. It was a hard one and a half week.. But I'm not going to be so happy too soon, Things have only just started, it has to continue this way to make things back to what they were again. You thought me how to first trust myself, and to respect others. Next

Rain.

2004-09-23T19:17:00.000+08:00

Song= Jack Johnson - Flake It's raining outside. One look at the sky, makes me want to cry. Memories of a hundred and one fills my mind. Of how we used to stay in, hide under the covers and hug to keep warm. And the smile on your face that melted my heart. Of how we would channel surf til we fall asleep, And to wake up to find your arms around me. Of how I would tell you that I love you, And

2004-09-23T14:20:00.000+08:00

Mood= Helpless As each day passes by... We drift further and further apart. Soon enough, I won't be able to see your face. Even if you stand right infront of me. As I stand there... waiting for you.

On bended knee

2004-09-22T21:45:00.000+08:00

Song= Boys II Men - On bended knee Darlin' I can't explain Where did we lose our way Girl (boy) it's drivin' me insane And I know I just need one more chance To prove my love to you If you come back to me I'll guarantee That I'll never let you go Can we go back to the days our love was strong Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong Can somebody tell me how to get things back The way they

2004-09-22T12:20:00.000+08:00

Song= The Used - Taste of Ink I still really miss you. I still love you. And I still want you back... Do you?...

Sympathy.

2004-09-21T23:35:00.000+08:00

Song= All Star United - Angels If I died today, Would you care? It just came to my mind, of how people go through all this misery of hurting themselves after a break up. Is it worth it? I asked myself. No... And that's why I never hurt myself. I'm too fragile for that. I'm already weak inside. So I really wonder. Why people cut themselves, overdose of sleeping pills and all that. Do they feel

Still.

2004-09-20T14:09:00.000+08:00

"Still John's Property". A few minutes of happiness.

Chat.

2004-09-20T12:06:00.000+08:00

Mood= Happy Song= Ludacris - Splash Waterfalls This is one of the few retarded chats I have with nico and george. 17.09.04 (= Bern =) .don't flatter yourself now. www.mis-independent.blogspot.com says: WHAT ABOUT YOU GEORGE?! [GeO] why can't i? says: bern ask nivo never ask me (= Bern =) .don't flatter yourself now. www.mis-independent.blogspot.com says: fucker.. Nico ooh think twice its just

2004-09-17T22:21:00.000+08:00

Mood= Crappy Song= Maroon 5 - She will be loved. I'm not gonna get you back now am I?... I'm trying.. so hard I don't know what to do anymore. I want you back so much.. but I don't think that you want me back. Like I said.. I can change. But it's all up to you now and it feels like I'm in the middle. Middle of hanging on and letting go. It's like you left me there... in the middle. I wanna hang

Back Here.

2004-09-16T21:19:00.000+08:00

Mood= Confused. Song= BBMak - Back here Baby set me free from this misery I can't take it no more Since you went away nothing's been the same Don't know what I'm living for Here I am so alone And there's nothing in this world I can do Chorus Until you're back here baby Miss you want you need you so Until you're back here baby yeah There's a feeling inside I want you to know You are the one and

would rather.

2004-09-16T19:02:00.000+08:00

Mood= cannot-be-assed-with-anything-or-anybody Song= Switchfoot - Meant to live I would rather look at the pouring rain than look at you. I would rather talk about me than you. I would rather wonder into my dreams without you. I would rather see a message from him/her than you. I would rather think about what I'm gonna do than you. I would rather walk away than watch you smiling. I would rather

Really.

2004-09-15T03:19:00.000+08:00

Mood= Lifeless Song= no decent songs in my com for a time like this. 2.20am, Wednesday 15th September 2004. Ohk... *blank* So this is it. Really.... ---- Really.

Reality check.

2004-09-15T01:00:00.000+08:00

Mood= Unhappy.. -_- Song= Petey Pablo ft. Ciara - My Goodies Wow.. what the hell. nearly everyone I know are arguing.. It's the arguing season.

Whatever...

2004-09-14T13:32:00.000+08:00

If I said that I don't care anymore, it would sound like I don't love you anymore. But the fact is that I do fucking love you, but the things you do doesn't make me happy. Some things. Then now I'm thinking.. I won't fucking care anymore... It may look like it but in the inside I'm all confused. I may be all like, Whatever la.. what the fuck. Then on the other hand I'm just... Lost. Confused. And

...

2004-09-14T04:43:00.000+08:00

Fucking Fucktard, is a bit like, Retardedly Retarded, which also can be, Idiotically Idiotic. [ ] Have you checked the time?... I've got my reasons to be awesomely weird right now... I think that my I-didn't-sleep-for-nearly-a-day started kicking in [ ]

Sing along!

2004-09-14T02:28:00.000+08:00

Sunday morning rain is falling... *and you add the rest, Thank You.*

2004-09-14T01:07:00.000+08:00

Mood= Bouncy Song= Usher - Confessions Part II Ok.. so in about 30 days I'm moving house! wheeeeee! It's awesome. I'm moving to a place 100 times closer to the border then I live now. Less then 5 minutes to the checkpoint. Ahh.. All the reasons to come out on sunday. But then, I thought that I'll actually be this happy if I move back to Sg but.. ahh.. this is good enough. I have been blessed. =)

2004-09-09T21:56:00.000+08:00

Song= Black Eyed Peas - Anxiety Actually... now.. I feel that. That something has changed. You felt it before me and now I feel it. Maybe I know what it is.. but then maybe again I don't. Ohwell... I'll get over it. Soon enough. ooh.. I'm having the temptation to slap someone in the face right now. =D Hands a bit itchy. But then... I'm a nice girl and I don't slap people... I'd rather punch. =

2004-09-07T21:46:00.000+08:00

Always when we fight, I kiss you once or twice, And everythings forgotten, I know you hate that.

Lonely Nights.

2004-09-07T00:55:00.000+08:00

Mood= Crappy Song= Boys 2 Men - On bended knee Oh what the hell... Winamp just died on me. There goes my only source oh entertaiment to keep me awake, For this night.. This fucking night to do my homework. Like every night. I just found out that.. I think too much. Too too much. My thoughts run wild on me.. In me. Then I start feeling like crap, Like I am now... Oh get this feeling out of me.

I'm complicated^^

2004-09-06T13:58:00.000+08:00

Song= Destiny's child- bootylicious ~~I really cannot be bothered with anything right now. But I'm actually bothered to do this thingy my friend sent me. This is how complicated I am. *smiles* 1. What is your full name? Bernadette Lim Ying Lin (dont any of yuo dare call me by my chinese name.. Grrrr 2. Sex or Ice-cream: Ice cream then sex.. So that I can burn off all the fats I took in. =) haha

Me.

2004-09-06T01:42:00.000+08:00

I'm starting to believe that I'm a very boring person... Yeah.. Just started to believe. I'm not able to make anyone laugh.. Well... More like I'm incapable to. It's where I live that makes me such a boring person. I'm just putting the blame on something else but me. I'm really starting to hate my life too... Not starting.. already have a long time ago.

All mixed up.

2004-09-03T20:43:00.000+08:00

Song= Tamia - Dear John My friend told me today, that it's better to be his friend then his girl. It's actually very true. Memories then filled my mind about how the word 'fight' would never have been thought about when we were Ge and Mei. I'm starting to get really sick and tired of all these fights. One fight every 4 days. How fucked up is that? And every single time we both get hurt so much

Few long talks.. One long moment to myself.

2004-09-02T23:45:00.000+08:00

Mood= Stoned Song= Wannadies - you and me song I had a really long talk to fu bro about relationships.. I've known him for over 5 years. He has seen me change and I've known him longer then anyone else in school except for cris. He told me about his ex and I told him about John. We both agree on most things. We are both.. in a way, scared. We both are scared of losing our loved ones and hurting

Just what I need.

2004-09-01T17:01:00.001+08:00

I need happier songs in my life. All I have are.. break ups, love, break ups, love, break ups, love. Love songs may not exactly be happy songs. No... not really. ............................................. I'll let you go... If you're happier off without me.

I swear... On my fucking life.

2004-09-01T00:37:00.000+08:00

These are the few things, I FUCKING SWEAR I'll never do again... Go into her livejournal.Talk about her anymore.Or basically anything about her anymore.Think I can handle what I obviously can't.Make him loose his trust in me (already have anyways...)Bascially...

Fie... ^^

2004-08-31T21:12:00.000+08:00

Mood= bubbly Song= Tamia - So into you. I realised.. how much we have missed out. How we seem to click so well but never really let us click? I skrewed my life up once.. twice and I'm not gonna let it happen again. You guys were disappointed in me.. I know. And somehow I'm glad I didn't go to bintan with you guys during activity week. And I remember.. it was sometime during this time last year

The downfall...

2004-08-30T22:51:00.000+08:00

Mood= Worried Ok... so it's the 4th week of school and things are well.. not going my way. In art, I have four 0's in a row from not doing my homework. Physics, I didn't hand in 2 of some shit ass worksheet. Bio, I failed my test and and revision sheet. How impossible but I did. Math, didn't know jack on my test today.. at least I think I knew half of it... French, I didn't do my homework but go

2004-08-29T12:40:00.000+08:00

Happy Anniversary baby. It's been 12 hours and 40 minutes past midnight. But I was with you.. Nothing's better then that.

2004-08-27T13:01:00.000+08:00

Still Strong. It's amazing that in 2 days we would have been significant others for 3 months. It's short but yet, long. In John's case that is... In the last 3 months (nearly) we have been in countless arguements and we even broke up once, but patched back 2 hours later. The relationship started off rather shakey mainly because the trust wasn't much there and also tons of insecurities. But

2004-08-24T20:06:00.000+08:00

Mood= Tired Song= Ashlee Simpson - Pieces of Me I'm still sick.. having the worst sore throat in my entire life. Luckly, I'm able to talk.. I nearly lost my voice today though. Sigh.. Been so so busy today in school. My lunch time has never been this busy before. Lunch is for an hour, and within that, half an hour was taken up for a MUN meeting, then, had to go next door for a stupid

2004-08-22T01:13:00.000+08:00

A new ring is a bit like a new relationship. It's shiny, polished and full of love. Months pass, Arguements increase, The ring is tarnishing... But under it, the love is there.. Just, Hidden. The ring begins to have scratches, Like how it is in the heart. Now the ring is full of dents, Like how it is in the heart. And now, You try your best to polish the tarnish from your ring. Like how

2004-08-20T02:32:00.000+08:00

Mood= Pissed Off.. Song= Toni Braxton - Spanish Guitar Somehow that song reminds me of you. Or the both of you. No.. that's just wrong. 2.30am is the time now and I'm still on my homework which I started 3 hours ago. My vision just gone blurr on me, everything seems so close but far at the same time. I'm having so many things on my mind I don't know which to think about. ... Where are you?

2004-08-19T00:46:00.000+08:00

Mood= Accomplished Song= Marron 5 - Sunday Morning One on my left.. Another on my right. I'm in the center. I don't know which side to turn to. Bernz

2004-08-17T23:14:00.000+08:00

Mood= Peeved. Song= Juvenile - Slow Motion You. I've known you the longest. But yet, not the best. Just not. You were like my brother, My best friend, My soul mate. Never would I think that, Things would ever change between us. We would be the mischievous ones, The ones who will run around having water fights. The ones who will pair up for almost everything. We would have hours on end talks,

2004-08-17T01:53:00.000+08:00

Mood= Tired.. =x Song= R. Kelly - Ignition (Remix) Condoms were invented and produced for a reason... - For prostitutes who sell their body for cheap. - To stop blood circulation to the dick. - Safe sex. - And so on... Condoms which break for a reason... - Maybe just like a LITTLE too hardcore. - A dick size of a leg. (wow.. imagine that!) - The brand you bought sucks. Stick to Durex. Tata~~

2004-08-16T20:49:00.000+08:00

Mood= Tired Song= Some random song on radio... sounds good thou. It's only the second week in school as a grade 10 student and this is how I have been developing... Oh yes.. I'm sick. 5.50am - Woke up.. but fell to sleep for another 15 minutes. 6.05am - Ok, have to get my ass up if not I'm gonna be late for school.. 6.25am - Leaves home for school. Falls asleep in the car.. 6.50am - Reaches

2004-08-15T22:18:00.000+08:00

I wish I never entered... into a place full of insecurties. I read some things I wish I never read. I start asking myself for the millionth time, do you really or do you think you just do? You say you really do. I start doubting you. I let go of my past. You said you let go of yours. In a way, I still can't quite believe you. I want to. I'm trying to. Sometimes words just isn't enough. It's

2004-08-15T15:52:00.000+08:00

A person I can't live without.John 2 things never to say after a break up.Man.. you do suck at sex. (if it's over, it's over. Don't come complaining about sex.. if you didn't like it then than why did you say I was good? Cut the crap already..)I pormise I'll never stop talking to you or love you. (If you know you're saying that just to save youself you might as well not. Don't say it when you

2004-08-15T04:04:00.000+08:00

Mood= Annoyed! Why is my last entry with some words looking retarded?... bleh.. Bernz

2004-08-15T03:41:00.000+08:00

Mood= Dreamy Song= Selena - Dreaming of you For you baby..;; Happy Birthday. 18 and legal. Which means you can buy drinks for me! Wooo! Kidding. We have been through so much for the past year til we got together about 3 months ago. Had fights here and there, having doubts about each other, you always asking for kisses on the phone, me always being so -retared-, you always talking in your uber

2004-08-13T00:30:00.000+08:00

Mood - Fustrated Ok, I'm sorry for all I've done to you.. Over and over again.. bernz

2004-08-13T00:25:00.000+08:00

Mood= ........ stoned ........ Song= K-C and JoJo- all my life School started 3 days ago.. already stressing. Figured I have to grab hold of the MYP diploma and score high for my IGCSE's.. but those come later during the year. AND I have to do like a mini extended essay.. I personally know that what I'm doing is easy and like I said again.. I wanna grab hold of the MYP diploma. Enough of school.

2004-08-08T19:32:00.000+08:00

Mood = Lonely Song I'm listening to = Usher - Burn ok.. this is esp for stella. I'm really sorry I skrewed up your birthday this year. I didn't didn't take to account that something like this HUGE would happen. I know this thingy was like the most -important- thing in your life but really.. if it happened then I'm sorry la.. I already said that I was really sorry so now I just have to wait for

2004-07-23T09:34:00.000+08:00

hey sHelly here..... Bday cOming...in three More days.....haven made up my mind who to invite.....will invite bern(god sis leh) classmates and more lah....haven decided where to go yet...cos got church then they come quite late leh.....how???quite fcuked nowadays....becos of some1 lah....it is ming ming not my fault then say until lyke mine lyke that....where got lyke that one rite.....sick

2004-04-18T15:38:00.000+08:00

OMG!!i didnt totally regret gOing to the cOnCert at All..it was so damMit nice kkaes.....i took a taxi there cos i was very late....and elaine told me she went in liao....then i very scared i late then i ask taxi driver faster lor....shit him lah....drive so slow....8pm coNcert start.....very nice....k one come out first....then they dance lar....bring out the highness in Me.....i was screaming

2004-04-12T17:35:00.000+08:00

heyaa.......furnie day.....every where got balloon popping...furnie lah....then the bois go around jumping on balloon...for oncE nOt scared Of BallOon...for Once.....pump the balloon tiL hand pain...muscle cramp sort of lah......whee~~tomolo got band....gOt new sOng to play.....quiTe fast.....cos cUt tIMe....PlaYing that sOng for Outdoor OpeniNg c..ya...then after schooL hanG around a while hear

2004-04-01T15:59:00.000+08:00

back.....well the thing almost done all it needs it just bernz profile and stuff lyke that.....today kana sabo by a lot of people then also scolded by that stupid idiot!!dont bother about other class bother about us....stupid one lah....april fool day leh,...play also cannot.....hate it lah.....pls tagg the board..kk....comment about this blog....cos first blog do n my own....bernz u betta learn

2004-03-22T21:14:00.000+08:00

hihi...first entry to This blog opeNed by the Two sistas.....will put up the taggy board and stuffs lyke that sooner or later..when i learn how to...cos bern dont know how to do....so just had to do the template myself..she just had to blog and everyone would come....welll today...very funny lah....i also have another blog can go tag the board there.....thx...tata...the add is<> can add me on