Mood= Crappy
Song= Maroon 5 - She will be loved.

I'm not gonna get you back now am I?... I'm trying.. so hard I don't know what to do anymore. I want you back so much.. but I don't think that you want me back. Like I said.. I can change. But it's all up to you now and it feels like I'm in the middle. Middle of hanging on and letting go. It's like you left me there... in the middle. I wanna hang on though.. I wanna.

Something happened today which freaked me out because I was thinking about him... too much.
It was around 5, I was telling my friend how much I missed him and want him back. He then said that it's gonna be ok and that I'll get him back (5 seconds of happiness) and that I shouldn't worry so much. While replying, I fell asleep and I had a dream that I got back together with him after UN auditions. I woke up after that. It was scary as fuck. I got really sad and I didn't want to fall back asleep afraid that I'll dream about him again. (but I did half an hour later....)

So I know that it's gonna be alot harder for you to forgive me now. So I know. But I'm so sorry.. So so sorry. I know that sorry is not enough. But what I once feared most, came true. And I’m crying the tears I once would never have.