=)

Mood= Stressed!
Song= This Day & Age - Second Place Victory

Other then what I'm thinking of saying about this afternoon in the hall...

I hope that you get a lot better soon. =) Haven't seen you this moody in a long time. Cheer up. Everything will be fine soon.. Health + Life + Everything else.

i've been lying to myself.

Mood= Confued...
Song= Frankie J - Don't Wanna Try

Just a few minutes ago, i was listening to BBMak's Back here.. my playlist is on shuffle so it came on ramdomly. Just at that same moment I was reading a few or too much things from the past. It's funny as I was drowning myself reading them. I don't know why I was reading them.. maybe cause I just thinking and I was so sick of doing my work so I decided to just.. read. Then I was reading to waaaay back til like this time last year, I thought about everything you went through, everything I went through and everything we both went through. Some very depressing ones and some that made me smile in an instant. Then I thought about now.. how we are.. how we're talking like how we only have 5 minutes a day to talk and in those 5 precious minutes, we have so many things to say but nothing comes out. It's been nearly 2 months now.. and I've been pretending all along.

In this 2 months, I've had countless of people trying to snatch the necklace off my neck. Dear friends, I know you're doing all this because you don't wanna see me in this state, sorry to tell you but I am in this state and it is my decision when it will come out or not. Even if I do take it out now, I'll be lying to myself and everybody else.. and in a way, this is holding me back.

I've started missing you a lot.. ... ...... ... .... .... .... but I do not bleed like I used to. I don't cry anymore, I don't call ge up just to tel him that I miss you, I pretend to be a lot happier now, I pretend that I'm over you when I complain so much about you to ge.

I know that one day i will give up. Now.. I'm confused if I have or not...

Mmm..

Mood= Content
Song= Jason Mraz - You and I Both

Yesterday while I was sleeping, I had like 20 million phone calls. One from John, Eugene, Fu bro, Stella and Ben... and I forgot what they all and I said! hahaha! sorry la.. was sleeping what.. the only thing I remember was fu asking me if I was going out, stella asking me if I was going out, john telling me if anything call him, eugene telling me his email add (which I forgot.. all I know that it's a really short email add with 2 number inbetween the add.. er.. john.. help?) and saying that we'll both catch up on msn, and ben... him yapping away! don't remember nuts but I was quite sure I was awake but it was at 3 in the morning. =pp

oh well.. I'm soo stressed! I have sooo much work due on monday. some one save me!! I think that I'm gonna go cross eyed soon at staring at the computer for sooo longg.. >.<

Urgh.. its pouring outside.. with lighting and it sounds like an atomic bomb just dropped...
It also reminds me of a poem I wrote months ago... hmmm.. I'm going to look for you.. cause your presence still lingers here.

Anyways.. back to work.. -_-

Mood = Annoyed
Song = SP - Disarm

I spend my saturdays now with my sisters.. Ochin (big sis), Aff (mid sis), Aura (sis) and i'm lil' sis. oh well.. i miss hanging out with the guys like John, EUGENE! (everytime i say his name must shout one..), Jeremy, Daniel and all of their nonesense. Most saturdays i'll buy lunch for them.. most of the time it's always "buy anything".. and me having to tell them to make up their minds. I go over.. and I always see them wearing only their boxers.. ai ya.. those were the days. It's bloody irritating now since I actually get to go out more often and I'm on time! i was on time to meet geo in school, to meet benita in town, to meet my sisters in town.. ahh.. i'm improving! =D sooo happy. balancing play and work life. it's hard. I never do my work and now i'm as hard working as ever.. and i have never cancelled an appointment! wheeee! haha.. but ppl cancelled their appointments on me. now i know how annoying and irritating it can get. whoops.. these kinda things have to experience first hand. I'm changing.. and i like it. =) but i feel that my play life is getting kinda outta hand.. and somehow i'm getting mean too... but as long as you don't get in my path.. i'll be fine with you. =)) easy as 1 2 3 to the A B C. <-- ok.. i've heard that somewhere.. hmm..
now.. i'm trying to stop bitching about other people which I dont know.. and be nice and try and be freinds!... hahaha... that's life. =pp

Its queer cause I'm starting to miss you* again..
i guess it's alright. ^^

Valentines..

Song= Usher - Caught up

Happy Valentines to you all...

This year, I'm sleeping on it.

And plus a whole loada bad memories leading up to Valentines from the past few days...
Fucking chee bye.

i'm still here.

Mood= Depressed
Song= Vertical Horizon - I'm still here

i'm currently stuck with this song... it has alot of meaning to it anyways.

"I'm Still Here"

I found the pieces in my hand
They were always there
It just took some time for me to understand
You gave me words I just can't say
So if nothing else
I'll just hold on while you drift away
Cause everything you wanted me to hide
Is everything that makes me feel alive

The cities grow
The rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here
Still here

Seeing the ashes in my heart
I smile the widest
When I cry inside and my insides blow apart
I tried to wear another face
Just to make you proud
Just to make you put me in my place
But everything you wanted from me
Is everything that I could never be

The cities grow
The rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here

Maybe tonight
It's gonna be alright
I will get better
Maybe today
It's gonna be okay
I will remember

I held the pieces of my soul
I was shattered and I wanted you to come and make me whole
When I saw you yesterday
But you didn't noticed
And you just walked away
Cause everything you wanted me to hide
Is everything that makes me feel alive

The cities grow
The rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here
The lights go out, the bridges burn
Once you're gone, you can't return
But I'm still here

Remember how you use to say I'd be the one to runaway
But I'm still here
I'm still here.